Teaching is Relationships

Having completed my first year of teaching, I am struck by a learning more nuanced than new: teaching depends on relationships. I break these relationships into three interdependent categories: relationships with students, relationships with colleagues, and relationship with self.

Relationships with Students:

I student taught in 10th grade. In moving to 8th grade, I’ve noticed one big difference affecting my relationships with students: 8th graders are more willing to “buy in” than 10th graders, who are generally more set in their school identity. However, the degree of “buy in” I get from 8th graders is dependent on relationships. If students have an engaging relationship with me, they are more likely to engage in my classroom. Not only are relationships key to classroom management, but they are key to the learning that occurs in the classroom.

Relationships with Colleagues:

I started off this school year feeling isolated. I had relationships with teachers outside of my workplace, but few connections with my colleagues. As I challenged myself to open up more at work, I built supportive relationships with my colleagues. We drop into each other’s classrooms before school, after school, during planning, even during class. We talk about students we struggle with. We talk about the joys and struggles of teaching. These relationships with colleagues are valuable both to professional learning and to the stamina and support needed to succeed in a stressful occupation.

Relationship with Self:

For myriad reasons, I came into teaching with a shaky relationship with myself. I would hate for my students to model their self-relationships after mine. This is where my motivation to develop a relationship with myself started – to be a better role model for my students. This motivation is starting to shift away from the extrinsic and towards the intrinsic. Although I still want to be my best self for my students, I’m starting to want to be my best self for myself. This has been the area of biggest growth for me: I must have a caring relationship with myself to be a successful teacher.

Even though I have grown in my relationship with myself, I have a lot more progress to make. How do I, as a teacher, develop a healthy relationship with myself that doesn’t sacrifice relationships in other areas? I’m eager to continue exploring the strengths and challenges of relationships in my second year of teaching.

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Sarah Brauner is currently teaching 8th grade English Language Arts at Columbia Junior High School in the Fife School District.